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Churrascaria’s are what I hope heaven will be like. Since I probably won’t enter the gates upstairs, I’ll have to continue to visit this carnivore’s paradise on Park Avenue and 25th street. The only reason I had been trying to go to Porcão in NYC is because Malik, the Firefighter and I had gone to the one in Rio two summers ago. I was curious as to how the food at the NYC location would fare compared to the mother ship in Rio. Some of the reviews I had read online didn’t give Porcão much of a chance. Well, I did. And I’m glad I did – it was a fantastic experience.

A group of six was not let down by the non-stop beef action brought on by flipping the “I want to eat” card to it’s green side. We saw at least ten different cuts of beef along with a couple of varieties of chicken – all in about a 15 minute span. It got to the point where I wasn’t able to eat my food as fast as it was landing on my plate. That’s when I realized, I need to flip the card to red after each serving of fresh carved meat, devour it, then flip the card back to green when I’m ready for more. The salad bar wasn’t fantastic, but then again, why would you go there to eat salad? They supplied each table with several side dishes – fries, fried banana’s, mashed potatoes. Nothing spectacular there. The beef. The beef was all fantastic. Some might find it to be a bit salty, however, with enough water, it was fine for me. The prime rib with cheese was phenomenal, the shish kebab’s were also very tasty. The skirt steak was extremely flavorful and the sirloin was decent. Everything else is just a blur.

What was the damage? $50/head plus drinks and dessert. We left no room for dessert, although the cart was very inviting. The service was good, although at times it seemed like a couple of the meat waiters became impatient with the novices. The atmosphere wasn’t spectacular – not even on a Saturday night. The bottom line is, we were never left waiting for food, it was tasty and we had a great time. If you want a taste of Rio or if you just like meat, drop by Porcão – you’ll be in heaven.

Just had to get that out there.

This morning, I had to call several dealerships to ask about getting replacement keys made for a car that has none. I tried my best to not sound suspicious, but I had no luck. What I have to do is get the car towed to the dealer and they can then program a new key. In doing some research I’ve learned that the keys have RFID’s in them (even keys that look like normal keys) so that when you insert the key into the ignition, it matches up in radio frequency and then starts the car. That’s apparently what makes it near impossible to hotwire the car. It also makes a key cost $140 (add $50 to get the car towed to the dealer, tax and voila – $200+). Good times.

Now here’s a really simple way to make some kickass burgers from scratch (props to the Fireman for showing me how to do this):

Grill Preperation:
Make sure you have 2 heat zones in your grill: hot and warm. If you’re using charcoal, you can just stack a majority of the charcoal to one side of the grill and get it nice and hot, leave the other side empty.

Meat Preparation:
Throw 3 lbs of ground beef (I like 80% beef 20% fat), 2-3 generous tablespoons of dijon mustard and some kosher salt and pepper into a bowl and mix it all up well – use your hands. Let the meat get as close to room temperature as you can (this will help it cook more evenly). Make 6 thick patties (if you’re good at math, you’ll know that 6 patties out of 3 lbs. of meat = 1/2 lb burgers).

Time to Grill:
You can grease the grill with a brush so that the burger won’t stick, but generally, burgers don’t stick. Put the meat patties on the hot part of the grill. As soon as the bottom of the patty gets as crisp as you’d like it, turn it over. Important: Do not squeeze the patties on the grill. Do not press down on them. You’re squeezing the juice out of the burger! Do the same for the other side of the patty. Once both sides are crisp, move the burger over to the warm part of the grill. During this time, the meat is cooking slowly on the inside. If you like your burger rare, take it off quick (couple of minutes), if you like it well done, let it sit there longer (5-7 minutes).

Throw some cheese on it if you’d like, find a tasty bun (toasted, buttered potato roll anyone?), add the condiments of your choice and enjoy! Mmmm…that is a tasty burger.

I’ll have to celebrate by having a shackburger in the rain, while watching the Mets play the Marlins tonight…. at a strip club.