Masuka: Agent Lundy. So I hear a rumor that you’re tracking all our Internet activity. So is it true? Because I can explain all that shemale stuff.

Lyla Garritty: I’m leaving Tim.

Tim Riggins: What do mean you’re leaving?

Lyla : I’m just.. I’m going.

Tim: Why?

Lyla: Because you guys just think this is a big joke.

Tim: I don’t think it’s a big joke.

Lyla: Really? All you’ve done is go to whore houses and karaoke bars.

Tim: Yeah? What else do you do in Mexico?

The boys at bobbysketch should test if this is true in the future. Purely for research of course.

Doug: He promised me golf. He promised me power. Then he bent me over and he fucked me up the ass like an innocent alter boy alone in the vestry after services. Lured by promises of juice and cookies.

Andy:  Some vivid imagery there Doug.

Doug: With his stupid hair. What grown man has blond hair?

Andy: Alright, time to go. Come with me. We’ll go get Dean, sell some wacky…

Doug: No! It’s time for Doug to rise from the ashes. I must reclaim what is rightfully mine Andy. And I must fuck his shit up. As God as my witness, I will get him.

Andy: Well, I see that you’re in the disturbing throws of revenge scheming and you’re not letting go. So I’m going to leave you to it. Catch you later man.

I am in no way endorsing this show but I was flipping channels the other night during the Indians – Red Sox game and came upon this segment.  Gave me a chuckle.
Caveman #1 – Pebbles from The Flintstones. Okay, hot or a baby.

Caveman #2 – Hot!

Caveman #1 -  No. Baby. Not … not hot. She was, like, three years old.

Caveman #2 -  Not on The Pebbles and Bam-Bam Show!

The Colorado Rockies won again last night and is one win away from the NL pennant and their first World Series berth.  Yorvit Torrealba broke the game open last night with a 3-run HR and Josh Fogg pitched effectively to beat the Arizona Diamondbacks 4-1.  The Rockies can close out the sweep tonight.

Yeah, I’m jumping on the bandwagon.  You gotta be impressed by a team that’s got this much resiliency.  Shit, they’ve won 20 of their last 21 and they’re playing small ball most of the way.  With rain and 40 degree weather last night, Coors Field was rockin’.  It was a packed house with no one leaving til the final out.  TBS was saying they were a team of destiny, I don’t know about that, but they are on a unbelievable roll.

The Arizona Diamondbacks host the Colorado Rockies tonight to kick off the NLCS and the Boston Red Sox host the Cleveland Indians Friday night in the ALCS. But much of the kids over at bobbysketch don’t really care cause their teams have already been knocked out. The stabbing pains of watching the Mets screw up at the end of the season subsided pretty quickly and I have been enjoying the playoffs so far. Witnessing another Yankee first round exit sure put a smile on my face. But I digress.

Colorado has been on a ridiculous roll for the past three weeks to even make it this far. But without any real aces or a veteran closer, Colorado is the underdog here. Arizona on the other hand has Brandon Webb who could go three times if needed in this best of seven series. I will predict that Arizona takes the series in six games. There’s going to be some sloppy plays on the field by these two young clubs. But there’s definitely going to be a lot of intensity by both teams.  By the way, Stubhub still has a bunch of Diamondback tickets available for the series for under 20 bucks.  Talk about fan support.

Boston vs. Cleveland will the series to watch this year. Both teams have a good lineup and great starting pitching. The likely winner and runner up for the Cy Young award in the AL will be pitching in game one as Josh Beckett faces C.C. Sabathia. Then you got Curt Schilling vs Fausto Carmona (who baffled the Yanks for 9 innings) going in game two. I predict Boston winning in six games as well, with Cleveland’s Joe Borowski blowing a game or two in a tight situation in the ninth.

Cleveland vs. Colorado would be the World Series I would love to see. Though the chances of that happening are slim. And that series would probably have record low ratings again like last year’s Detroit – St. Louis World Series. Fox and News Corp must be praying for Boston to reach it this year.

The Colorado Rockies defeated the San Diego Padres in 13 innings last night in a one game playoff to win the wild card.  The likely Cy Young award winner this year (Jake Peavy) and the career saves leader (Trevor Hoffman) couldn’t get the job done against this feisty Rockies team.  As I saw my Mets fail miserably this September, the Rockies did the complete opposite.  They won 14 games in their last 15 to complete the most unlikely of playoff runs.

Tied 6-6 going into the 13th inning, Scott Hairston of the Padres took Jorge Julio deep for a two  run HR.  In comes Trevor Hoffman in the bottom half to close it out.  First batter up was Kaz Matsui who doubled, followed by another double by Troy Tulowitzki to make it 8-7.  MVP candidate Matt Holliday drills a Hoffman fastball to the right field fence for a triple, tying the game.  Jamey Carroll steps up and hits the first pitch to right field where Brian Giles tries to nail Holliday at the plate.  Holliday slides headfirst into the Michael Barrett who drops the ball.  The umpire takes his time and calls safe.

After seeing a couple of replays it looks like Barrett blocked the plate and Holliday never touched home.  Barrett never argued the call and just left the field.  This will probably come down as one of the more memorable endings for a one game playoff.

Next up will be the Phils in Philly.  Let’s Go Rocks!!!!

From the 19th season premiere  “He Loves To Fly and He D’Ohs”

Marge: Homer, you smell like Chicago. Did you fly there in a commercial airline?
Homer: No way. Commercial is for losers and terrorists. I flew in a private plane.

Ouch.  Still too soon?