bobbysketch

Bart Sells His Soul is the Simpsons at their best. Poignant, funny, witty, and heartwarming. In 22 minutes, Bart goes from not caring to questioning, and finally redeeming his soul. It’s a heroic struggle that says a lot about the individual and their place in life.
Plot Summary: To prove his point that the soul doesn’t exist, Bart sells his to Milhouse for five dollars, but regrets it when weird things begin happening to him. Meanwhile, Moe converts his bar to a family restaurant.

Notable Quotes:

Bart: Well, if your soul is real, where is it?
Milhouse: [motions to his chest] It’s kind of in here. And when you sneeze, that’s your soul trying to escape. Saying “God bless you” crams it back in! [gestures up his nose] And when you die, it squirms out and flies away.
Bart: Uh huh. What if you die in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean?
Milhouse: Oh, it can swim. It’s even got wheels in case you die in the desert and it has to drive to the cemetery.
Bart: [sighs] Oh, how can someone with glasses that thick be so stupid? Listen: you don’t have a soul, I don’t have a soul, there’s no such thing as a soul!
Milhouse: [smug] Fine. If you’re so sure about that, why don’t you sell your soul to me?
Bart: [pause] How much you got?
Milhouse: Five bucks.
Bart: Deal. [writes "Bart Simpson's Soul" on a piece of paper] There you go: one soul.
Milhouse: [sly] Pleasure doing business with you.
Bart: Any time, chum…p.

________________________________________________________

Moe: So, come on: I need a name that says friendly, all-American cooking.
Homer: How about, “Chairman Moe’s Magic Wok”?
Barney: I like it!
Moe: Mmm, nah. I want something that says people can have a nice relaxing time.
Homer: [pounds fist] I got it! “Madman Moe’s Pressure Cooker”!
Barney: I like it!
Moe: Hey! How about, “Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag”?
Barney: I hate it.
[outside, a truck horn honks]
Moe: Oh, boy! The deep fryer’s here. Heh heh, I got it used from the navy. You can flash-fry a buffalo in forty seconds.
Homer: Forty seconds? But I want it now!

________________________________________________________

Grandma: A caller at this hour? [to Mr. VH] You dial 9-1, then when I say so, dial 1 again. [opens the door]
Bart: [sees Milhouse, sighs with relief] Milhouse, please.
Milhouse: Bart, I can’t play now. It’s 2:00 a.m.
Bart: Milhouse, I’ve got to have my soul back. I’ll do anything you want.
Milhouse: Uh…well…
Mr. VH: Uh, Milhouse, give him back his soul! I’ve got work tomorrow.
Milhouse: I’m really sorry…I kind of traded your soul to the guy at the comic book store. But look! I got some cool pogs: [shows them] Alf pogs! Remember Alf? He’s back…in pog form.
Bart: [incredulous] You traded my soul for pogs?!
[runs out screaming]
Grandma: Close that door! You’re letting the heat out.
Mr. VH: Shut up, shut up, shut up!

________________________________________________________

Bart: [plaintive] Are you there, God? It’s me, Bart Simpson. I know I never paid too much attention in church, but I could really use some of that good stuff now. I’m…afraid. I’m afraid some weirdo’s got my soul and I don’t know what they’re doing to it! I just want it back. Please? [starts to cry] I hope you can hear this.
[his soul floats down from above]
[he grabs it and hugs it, and sees Lisa standing there]
Lisa? You bought this?
Lisa: With the change in my piggy bank.
Bart: There’s no change in your piggy bank.
Lisa: Not in any of the ones you know about.
Bart: Oh, Lis, thank you. [kisses her]
Lisa: Happy to do it. But you know, Bart, some philosophers believe that nobody is born with a soul — that you have to earn one
[Bart eats the piece of paper]
through suffering and thought and prayer, like you did last night.
Bart: Uh huh. [swallows]

Related Posts:

• No Related Posts