bobbysketch

You know you’re going to watch it regardless of what I say in this review. Spiderman 3 will be a huge blockbuster and make tons of money. I was lucky enough to score passes to a screening of it last night, so here’s my review, without spoilers.

The movie starts out very ghey. It ends very ghey. It’s ok in between. There’s nothing more you need to know.

OK, jump for the rest…you know the deal.

We are introduced to two new antagonists in S3, in addition to the New Goblin from S2. Venom happens to land on the earth in New York by way of a small meteor crashing into a park where Peter and MJ were “hanging out.” The Venom is some kind of compound that attaches itself to Peter’s bike then, ultimately, attaches itself to Peter. It makes him into an badass by bonding, molecularly, to his body. He becomes an angry, emotional, stereotypical revenge seeker. For a minute, I thought I was watching a Fallout Boy video mashed up with Saturday Night Fever, but then I snapped out of it, and so did Peter Parker. It took too long for Venom to actually infect Parker and he wasn’t evil enough for too long. I like to see good guys doing bad things and there wasn’t enough of it.

Anyhoo… Bad Peter effs with some people and pisses them off, thus mustering up two new enemies: The Sandman (played by Thomas Haden Church) and Eddie Brock Jr. (played by Topher Grace), who later gets “infected” by the Venom as well and becomes quite an evil villain. From there, I’m sure you can figure out what happens, some action scenes now that Spidey has three enemies all chasing him around, Snaggletooth and other helpless young ladies looking to be saved from danger, etc. etc. Basically, if you’ve seen the first two Spiderman movies, you’ve seen the third.

I wasn’t crazy about the action scenes. The effects were ok. The storyline was, like I said, kinda ghey…actually, very ghey. Chicks might dig it, though…and maybe 8 year old boys. All in all, I’d have to say that this is the worst of the three Spiderman films. The only thing I was happy about was that there didn’t seem to be any room left for another incarnation of the film. It’s not worth your $10, but you know you’ll spend it anyway.

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